Its the end of the year, the best time that everyone awaits for, time to eat lots of junk off-course, time to put the diets on a pause for most of us. But how has 2018 been for you. For me this year gone has been the most educational year ever, I opened myself up to self-evaluation, I faced the truth in the effort to create a better me, and guess what… it felt good. Here are the five things I had to boot out in 2018.
- Crying over relationships
I thought I should start here, I was never a “whats done is done type of a person”. I believed in starting something and seeing it through, winning at all situations. I even treated relationships as my own little project that I have to work hard for and ensure its success. Even when things were going south I would fight hard to steer that ship to where I thought it should go., nothing was too big for me. However nothing worked, only thing is I got drained, tired and depressed, .. until I found this secret
The secret I uncovered with relationships is that everyone we get involved with has a purpose, some people have been put on our path so they can teach us lessons about ourselves and those lessons do help us grow. Whatever department we fail in as individuals the universe will send someone or some situation to help us make changes in that department. To make this more understandable I will give an example. Up until now I have lacked in self-love, so most of the relationships I have had were with people expecting more from me but they have been giving less out. And so because I didn’t love myself I would keep giving and pumping, getting zero in return. The strange fact is I kept attracting the same people so the wheel kept spinning round and I didn’t understand why. The end result was a major breakdown and that’s when I took time off to reflect, and its at that point when the self discovery journey begun. I learnt the art of putting myself first.
I also understood that Some people however are strategically placed to support and promote us; help us reach our greatest heights, such people may stay with us for life or they may not, but these are the people we live to remember and again wonder why the relationship did not make it, But then we forget that by helping us they served their purpose.
So after knowing that not everyone that comes in my way is meant to stay, and more so I no longer cry over a lost relationship, and I no longer force a situation to go a certain direction.
2. Fear of being awkward
Ever been called strange… awkward… anti-social. These are the names available on the shelf for those people that are ready to stand firm on who they are and what they like. We live in a world whereby everyone should be like everyone else, if you are brave to break away from the crowd then be ready for the name calling. Before my awakening I used to attend parties and events I had no reason attending, problem is I didn’t know how to say “NO”. On the inside I so wanted to say no, but I had fear of being awkward so “yes” is the only answer I would give. So many of us do things we have no business doing,things that don’t impress us.
If this is you then remember you are not alone, that used to be me and I was drained. At the present moment I embrace my awkwardness, and guess what.. I call myself awkward now and it feels so so good, because I am now saying NO to other people and saying Yes to me. I am doing things I am happy about. I am generally a house person so I wont go out there and pretend to be social when really its paining me to the core.
3.Expectations, goals and resolutions
I found that setting goals and resolutions is the reason why I used to feel unfulfilled and some how a failure. First of all my goals were way too unrealistic, that’s true for most of the world, but assuming the goals are realistic here is the problem.. life does not always go the way we plan. The universe always has a plan which is contrary to our plans. When we expect to have achieved something within a given time-frame the universe pushes us into a certain direction, then our goals are delayed. If this happens then the human mind goes into depression mode, the brain tells us that we have failed, and our energy drops. One thing that our mind does not tell us is that the universe calls the shots, everything happens in divine order, we have lessons to learn and when the universe pushes us back its always because we need to grow and the only way of growing is through experiencing things that push us off our planing and comfort zone.
And so having discovered this universal secret I got rid of my goals and new year resolutions notebook. I now live a life of no expectations and its fantastic, no heart breaks because something didn’t happen, and because of that I am receiving unexpected gifts from the universe. Setting goals can sometimes be like working against gravity,it is a hit and miss.. only the powers that be know when the right time is. Set no goals and be free.
4. Blaming other people
Yes.. this used to be a big problem I embraced and supported for a long long time. I would trust other people’s judgements when it comes to my life and would listen to their views, if they say don do this I wouldn’t. But what happens if they are wrong? yes you guessed it.. anger, warfare, disappointment. I would obviously blame them for my failure. What if they push me to do something which puts me in trouble, I would blame them again. So I found that getting other people to tell me what to do is an excuse for not making the decision myself, and an excuse for not taking responsibility and off course an excuse to blame those people and be bitter.
5. Thinking I have to be nice all the time
As I was growing up my parents used to emphasise on how nice and kind I had to be, how God loves nice people and how they get repayment for their niceness. Here is the thing I learnt after years of being nice, “it doesn’t pay as much as they said it does”. I used to believe in helping out people, I was a go to person, but I stopped and here is why, simply put.. the world we live in has no room for nice people. I learnt that nice people get taken advantage of just like I was, they get bullied, and because they maintain their nice character they keep receiving the same treatment.
Lets be honest, its good to be nice but being taken advantage of sucks, when other people stump all over us we are left hurting and crushed, This affects our happiness, it takes away our positive energy and eventually we feel like as though the universe is against us.
So everyday I make it a conscious choice to live happy and embrace positive energy, these are the 5 things that have been draining my positive energy and these things can stop anyone from manifesting their true life’s desires.