As the financial climate changes for the worst and technology advances, more people are becoming unsettled and unhappy. More of us are in comparison mode, wanting to live a life of perfection which is being detected by celebrities on television and social media. Every person is going through something, but I say happiness is the main thing, inner peace and joy is the key to a healthy mental state, and that can be possible regardless of what one is going through. These are my secrets of being happy, tried and put to use.
1.Face whatever is making you unhappy
This point may seem unreal, because a lot of us have been encouraged to walk away from our problems, avoid them and hope they go away. We sweep them under the carpet and pretend they are not there, but off course they never can grow legs and walk away. I spent many years of my life looking to be happy, I was in an unfulfilling relationship but still stayed because I thought one day things will be better but nothing changed because I wasn’t changing anything. And for a while I was stuck in an industrial job that was physically too demanding and was affecting my health, moreover it had low pay. Finally one day I woke up to the knowledge that if I was unhappy its only me that can change the situation to suit my desire, only through being truthful to myself. Facing the enemy makes the enemy weak, and so facing our problems makes us emotionally resistant to their effects. But the most important thing is facing our problems allows us to find solutions for them, which means they are solved quicker and thereby leaving us free.
2. 100 % self acceptance
Most people feel unhappy because of not embracing who or what they are. Aspects of our life we can not change have made us unhappy, like race, ethnicity, gender for some, skin colour. We focus on other people (while they are also focusing on us) and think of them as happy and under control, if only we knew what they are dealing with then we wouldn’t even pray to be them, but because we don’t know we tend to make up a life for them in our heads and that life tends to be trouble free.
Self acceptance is my favourite secret because if I am accepting myself I really don’t care what another person thinks. With self acceptance you get to love all your flaws, your failures, and the good about yourself too. 100% self acceptance cuts out competition with friends, which is also the number 1 reason why some people are not happy. Live in your own world and run your own race alone, you can never come last if you are the only competitor.
3.Watch your thinking
The “kybalion” talks about the 7 Hermetic principles or the universal laws. The first law which is the “Law of mentalism” is all about how our mind/ thinking can influence the universe to change the outcome of our lives on a daily basis. It states that what we think is what shall become. Negative thoughts generally makes us unhappy, and as we embrace negative thinking so we encourage that what we think to manifest, then we go through a series of being unhappy. Its not always easy to think positive, the human mind has been generally trained to default to doom, however this can change. I have made happiness my priority by waking up everyday consciously telling my mind “I am happy and choose to be happy”.
4. Watch who you surround yourself with
It is so easy to stick to the same situation and same group of friends, but are those friends helping or they are destroying. At times we have friends who are ready to talk down on us, ready to backbite us and compete with us. There is no doubt that such friends cause unhappiness, so the best course of action will be to have the love for yourself and walk away from them. The type of people we spend most time with can shape us, or can destroy us and make us sad. Always aim for friends that promote you.
5.Always go with your gut
Ever wanted to do something or go somewhere and a friend or family stops you?… And you know in your gut that this was the best decision for yourself, but still cant go because you are choosing to go with the external advice. The problem is most of us will thereafter spend time thinking about the missed opportunity, regretting and dreaming about how it could have been if we had just done what we wanted. I have come to an understanding that everyone has a path, the way to being happy is to go on a journey within and listen to what our higher self is telling us, then following the advice because it leads us to our journey which holds our true happiness.
6.Be aware that being happy is a decision
You may be going through a storm, but can also make a decision to be happy, eventually the storm will mean nothing to you. We have seen numerous celebrities with loads of money and material possession BUT they are unhappy. This truly shows that money can not buy happiness, nothing does, not even a relationship.
7. Stop overthinking
Same as negative thinking, overthinking is a equally bad. I used to overthink a lot, I would spend an entire week thinking about one problem, be it a mistake I did at work or a family issue. My mind was trained to rewind a situation, and I would kick myself for the entire week. I would overthink myself into a headache, and end up with two problems. The problem with overthinking is it doesn’t solve anything, its all about worrying and not actually getting nowhere fast. It also encourages our body to release large amounts of cortisol, a stress hormone that makes well…. gain weight. So a bit of thinking shows we are humans, but too much of it leads us to endless unhappiness.
So there it is, these are the few tips on how to be happy, calm and peaceful. Remember nothing can make us happy but ourselves, we have the power to do it.